Why I'm Doing This

When a friend first pulled me into Minecraft, I was very clumsy and slow. Aren't we all, you say, but I've had the added pleasure of getting all over this game with nervous system disorder that affects my ability to orient in both time and space. LOL, you say, and I say yes....

I'm bad to go down the rabbit hole on games (I've actually been pulled away from both console and keyboard), so I've been avoiding games for a few years. However, this time I've had supervision, yay! And since I'm really good to touch base on twitter, facebook, and Pinky blog nowadays, I also share what I'm doing on Minecraft, so it's cool now, and maybe some of you might like to see what it's like down this particular rabbit hole.

I started on Kai's realm as a guest, stuck a toe out on singleplayer, wound up sucked into multiplayer, and from there it was cognitively like drowning in a whirlwind for me. I was barely able to keep up, it being especially brain straining to cope with so much new material, but over the months I've seen remarkable improvement in my cognitive abilities not just on Minecraft, but in real life.

I've been blogging for awhile about my glitchy brain probs, the depression it brings, and how I manage daily. Minecraft has become a huge part of my management system. I can spend quiet time mining on bad days (I'm getting filthy rich, guys), I can play around with sculpting landscapes and creating interesting tree growth patterns, I can fly around the world checking out neat stuff and what other people are doing, but mostly, what I'm doing every time I log into Minecraft is orienting.

Several viral illnesses over time have complicated a years-ago nasty car accident and ongoing autoimmune problems to the point where #brainfail morphed me from 32 ACT grad level to needing a legally appointed payee to oversee my finances. Along the way, I've become super dyslexic with numbers, short term memory is glitchy, I fuzz in and out of time and date, and yes, I get lost in stores. It once took me 10 minutes to remember which Walmart I was standing in, and which town, because I'm in a big tourist area with lots of Walmarts, and I live out by a state forest and drive to all of them whenever I venture forth.

It's almost unbelievable to me how much Minecraft has helped me brain train to orient in real time and space. Because of this experience, I voluntarily advocate for Minecraft as a good cognitive recovery game. It requires everything from basic hand-eye and memory to extensive planning strategies, and it allows so much freedom without actual pressure that I've been able to get loads back cognitively that nothing else was helping with at all.

I've been able to hide for a very long time that I'm like this. I built a nice fan site in 2006 nearly from scratch without any help, and no one saw how I crawled behind the scenes. Coming back out public was a desperate effort to stay 'here' (severe depression, guys, I can't even tell you) by creating a launch platform for several projects I lined up. I've been up and down with that, but I've sworn to remain public so people won't worry since I've disappeared so hard before (and taking my ship down with me) and now publicly confessing why. I'm a high risk person in every sense, and I'm doing everything I can to keep myself busy, occupied, and distracted, under medical and psychological supervision.

This last year for me has been the most difficult, which is surprising since it has been my healthiest year since forever. I guess I reached a place where I could finally deal with my emotional stuff, and since that queue was stacked up and overflowing, it has taken months to start sifting that down. Through it all I've been as honest as I can be about what's going on with me and why I'm difficult to interact with, and whether friends understand or not is not as important as I haven't destroyed anyone yet. I say yet. I hope I never do. My vow remaining public is to be good for people, but I'm doing this with a personality that would eat Ghandi, thanks to autism spectrum, spiky high pain levels, and the aforementioned depression.

Minecraft has saved me from self destructing. I briefly chatted with a super mod yesterday who let those of us on the server know he'd just had surgery and would soon be in physical therapy, and we all briefly empathized and got back to the game, but after I said Mo Creatures has gotten me through a LOT of stuff, he shared that the server was full of people dealing with disabilities and mental illnesses. Basically, if you will, I'm interpreting that as this game is a valuable service to the world community.

You may not see this on mobile, but at the bottom of each of my posts will be a tag. I'll tag every post to whatever world I'm playing in so that they'll create a thread of posts. Across the top of the blog is a menu (again, might not immediately be accessible on mobile) that will click to each of those world threads. If you don't play but are curious, you can see what I'm learning. I'm not paid to advertise, but if this encourages you to try it, great. I'm mostly doing the menu thingy to organize it for myself, though, because there may come a day when I glitch a little more and I might want to go back and see what I did. Blogging in general is really good for regaining a sense of time flow, plus if you have problems remembering things, it's all there if you write it down.

I probably need to disclaim, for people who don't know me as Pinky, that I'm not a convo person. I don't chat up and I probably won't talk much to you (if at all) just for saying hi. I've tried that, I'm dismal at it, so I just don't take bait any more because I bite. If you need to talk, there are lots of other people to talk to. If you wanna follow me around on the webs, put 'Janika Pinky aspienado' in a search bar, that usually does it. I'm NOT Janika Pinky (there really is one) and there are a dozen Pinky Guerreros (I'm not kidding), but that search will get you started, and nearly everything I do is hubbed.

My original Bluejacky tagline from 2008- "I am the cat who walks by himself, and all places are alike to me." quote

Except Minecraft.

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